


Not a random one

by classicpleistocene



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Blow Job, Fic within a Fic, Funny, I hope, M/M, Mutual Pining, a little bit of angst too, depending on what country you're in this might have some underage stuff like drinking and BJs, it gets a bit meta, it's one of those fics where one of them finds fan fiction about them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-10 09:42:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11124594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/classicpleistocene/pseuds/classicpleistocene
Summary: He found that those fluffy and sweet fan fictions were starting not to be enough anymore. His feelings for Otabek weren’t of the innocent type, and while he was already used to fantasize about them, he’d gotten so used to actually reading that one day he just slipped.He found a pretty vanilla one, and promised himself that it would be enough. It was a one time thing, it had to be.It wasn’t.





	Not a random one

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you [**nerily**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/nerily/pseuds/nerily) and [**Francowitch**](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Francowitch/pseuds/Francowitch) ♥
> 
> This is not underage stuff in my eyes and in my country, also not in Yuri's and Otabek's, so you won't see me rate it as such. If you're uncomfortable with the fact that Yuri drinks and gets blowjobs at 17 then please don't read this.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy!

It started with a twitter notification. 

Yuri went through them regularly, but this one was already a few hours old. It was a quoted tweet that read:

_ @otayuri_or_die  
_ _ omg so beautifullll i love otayuri *__* heyyy @yuri-plisetsky wht do you think abt this fanart :D _

 However, the quoted tweet was unavailable, meaning that the original poster had deleted it. Yuri would have just ignored it, if it wasn’t for that strange word he’d never seen before but that made bells ring in his brain. The fact that he had first read it as “Otabek” was puzzling, and he decided to take a look at the replies, hoping they would clarify something.

_ @h8theregent _ _  
_ _ omg are u outta ur mind why would u tag him!! _

_ @lilypttrs  
_ _ omgggggg their so cuuuuuuuuutee uwu  _

_ @knvesandainbows  
_ _ dude delete this before he sees it wtf is wrong with you _

 Well, now Yuri was definitely intrigued. Apparently the person had tagged him in some kind of content that he wasn’t supposed to see. He immediately thought of some controversy about the scandalous new free program he chose for his next season, but he decided the key to finding out was googling “otayuri”. 

The first result read:

_ Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky - Works | Archive of Our Own _

 Huh? Before clicking on that, he quickly scrolled down: he found a tumblr tag, a few wattpad pages (whatever wattpad was), a DeviantArt link, as well as some shady looking Buzzfeed article. A terrible feeling set in his gut, and he shifted on his bed to find a more comfortable position and stall finding out for sure what ‘otayuri’ meant, though he sort of realized by now what it must be. Potya meowed at his movement, and then quickly laid down with his paws across Yuri’s belly. Yuri spared a few more seconds to scratch him behind his ears and then finally forced himself to click on the first link, his heart pounding.

Yuri wasn’t too knowledgeable about fandoms, but he had a basic idea of what fan fiction was. Mila had once drunkenly confessed to having written Drarry fics when she was still in high school, though she swore it was “just fluff”. 

What Yuri was seeing here was something he, perhaps a little naively, hadn’t thought possible. He thought fandoms were supposed to be about fictional characters like Harry Potter and those Voltron guys, and yet if his eyes weren’t deceiving him, what he was seeing was fan fiction about himself. About himself  _ and Otabek _ , two very much alive and in-the-flesh people. His cheeks burned and his heart picked up the pace again. He felt awful for not being able to look away, but he scrolled down and took a quick look at the tags. There were those that, Yuri realized, explained the setting:  _ pre-GPF _ ;  _ Alternate Universe - Yuri didn’t win gold at his first GPF _ ;  _ Yuri is a werewolf, Otabek is a vampire _ ;  _ Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence _ ;  _ Coffe Shop AU _ ;  _ Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics _ ;  _ Soulmates AU _ ; etc, etc. 

And then there were those that made Yuri want to die on the spot: _Domestic_ ; _Sexual Frustration_ ; _enemies to lovers_ ; _Porn without Plot_ ; _Barebacking_ ; S _hameless Fluff_ ; _Rimming_ ; _bottom!Otabek;_ _Established relationship_ , and perhaps the most embarrassing one, that had Yuri’s heart inexplicably skip a beat: _Love Confessions_.

Yuri locked the screen of his phone and threw it on the carpeted floor, startling Potya. 

_ How fucking dare they _ . 

Did these people really think it’s okay to write such things? Never mind that he and Otabek were nothing but friends. Even if they had been together, what did these people have to do with it? Did they really have nothing better to do with their free time than writing... writing fucking  _ porn  _ about two figure skaters? Even the ones that weren’t rated Mature or Explicit freaked him out. Why would people want to write and read about he and Otabek making pancakes together for breakfast?

He was too angry to deal with anything and anyone right now. He shut his eyes and covered himself with his blanket, and quickly passed out from exhaustion.

 

***

 

_ Otabek flicks Yuri’s nose with a flour-stained finger. “You’re cleaning the kitchen, kitten.” _

_ Yuri pouts in that way that makes him lose the will to keep teasing him, but for once Otabek manages to keep a straight face. “I made us pancakes, so it’s only fair that you clean up.” _

_ “And tell me, DJ Altin, what if refuse?” _

_ Otabek can’t resist anymore. When Yuri’s voice turns to honey, he knows he’s truly lost. He closes the distance between them and reaches his arms around Yuri’s torso from behind, resting his chin on his shoulder and nuzzling his neck. “Then I’ll just have to kiss you until you give in.” _

_ “Why would I give in, Beka?” _

_ “Because you love me and you want me to be happy.” _

_ “I love you and I want you to be happy while you do the dishes and I watch you.” _

_ “Yura.” _

_ “Beka.” _

_ Otabek turns Yuri’s head slightly to the side, and starts kissing his jawline. “You smell so good. Like pancakes.” _

_ He kisses everywhere but Yuri’s mouth, teasing him, and then finally- _

“Yuri, what are you reading?”

“N-Nothing. Go back to practice, Mila.” Yuri put his phone away, hoping that if his face was red, Mila would think it was from the cold of the rink. 

“Yakov’s been yelling that the break is over, but apparently you were too distracted.”

“Tell him I’m coming in a minute.”

 

***

 

Yuri kept reading all the sweet fan fictions he could find, carefully avoiding the ones that were tagged “Mature” or “Explicit”. There were some that were awfully out of character, but he couldn’t judge the writers too hard, since what the fans saw of him or of Otabek certainly wasn’t much to work with.

This went on for months, and Yuri found that the more he read about his and Otabek’s fictional selves, the more he understood that his feelings for him weren’t purely of friendship.

It was weird, reading himself in the words of others, but except for a few ones where he could completely identify with ‘Yuri’, he could mostly separate reality from fiction.

Only a handful of times he found himself repeating sentences or situations inspired by something he’d read. Sometimes they worked in his favor, others Otabek replied totally different than how it should have been according to the fan fiction, so Yuri just let it go. Other than that, things were about the same as always between him and Otabek, but Yuri liked it that way. 

He enjoyed the slow burning best friends to lovers trope the most.

 

***

 

The next GPF banquet, everyone turned a blind eye to Yuri drinking. They probably trusted Otabek to not let him get too drunk, and they were right. Otabek only let him drink one glass of champagne every hour, and even so Yuri was feeling tipsy. He hadn’t counted Otabek’s drinks, but he was pretty sure his friend had only drank one. 

He wasn’t going to be dragged to a dance-off this year, so he sat with Otabek in a quieter corner of the room. 

“I like this being drunk thing.”

“You’re not drunk, Yura, just tipsy. You don’t know drunk.”

“Yeahhh, ‘cause you won’t let me, Beka!” Yuri whined. He gripped Otabek’s arm and pulled it, acting drunker on purpose. He knew Otabek wouldn’t believe it anyway, but at least he had an excuse to touch him and be clingy without feeling too embarrassed.

But he had sort of started to see banquets as turning points: think of Katsudon, for example. Had he not gotten shitfaced two years ago, he wouldn’t have flirted and danced with Victor, he would have quit skating forever, and his life would be very different now. 

Not that he wanted to be associated with Katsudon in any way. But he thought he should think of something fast.

When Otabek excused himself for a few minutes to visit the restroom, Yuri snatched another glass of champagne. And then another.

Now the room was definitely more unsteady under his feet, so he sat again in the same spot as before, right on time before Otabek came back, carrying two glasses with him. Yuri pretended to be distracted by his phone, when an idea came to his mind. So clever, so simple, and it had been right under his nose this whole time.

“Hey, Beka, did you know that our fans ship us?”

Otabek almost spit out the orange juice he was drinking, and Yuri had to laugh.  _ So _ , Yuri thought,  _ Otabek definitely knows some fandom terms. _ Interesting.

“Yes, I know,” Otabek said, and Yuri thought his voice sounded careful.

“You do?” Yuri was surprised.

“You know I have a big Tumblr, right? I had to block anything about me, or you, or… us.”

Was that a little blush on Otabek’s face?

Yuri smirked. “You’re blushing, Beka!” Otabek didn’t reply, and Yuri decided to bring things further. “Let’s read some.”

Otabek lifted his eyes to his. “Some of what?”

“Fan fiction, of course.”

“Yura, I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“C’mon, it’ll be fun. We’ll just laugh our asses off. Let’s get back to the hotel, we’re not talking to anyone else anyway.”

Otabek sighed loudly, which meant he was going to do what Yuri said.

Twenty minutes later, they were sprawled on Otabek’s bed, their suit discarded and replaced for comfortable baggy clothes (at least, they were baggy on Yuri, since they were Otabek’s).

Yuri took his phone and said, “I’m just going to find a random one, okay?”

Otabek groaned.

It wasn’t a random one. It was Yuri’s favorite, one he read almost every night before bed since he’d found it. He pretended to be searching for one and then finally he put the phone between them so they could both read, but Otabek took the phone in his hand instead and started reading out loud with his deep voice that Yuri loved. 

The story was about ten thousand words long, so it took Otabek a while to read it to Yuri. It was also weird to hear him read in English when they were alone, since they spoke Russian between themselves, but Yuri liked it.

They changed positions a couple of times, starting by lying on their stomachs, then Yuri rolled around and closer to Otabek so that he could look at his face while he was reading. Otabek looked at him a couple of times, interrupting his reading for just a second before continuing. 

At some point he lay belly-up, and Yuri moved closer to him, leaning his head on his shoulder, where he fell asleep right away, feeling safe with the sound of that warm voice.

 

***

 

They didn’t mention that evening again, nor did they mention the matter of people wanting them to be a couple. They simply continued to be friends, best friends, but things were different on Yuri’s part.

He found that those fluffy and sweet fan fictions were starting not to be enough anymore. His feelings for Otabek weren’t of the innocent type, and while he was already used to fantasize about them, he’d gotten so used to actually  _ reading  _ that one day he just slipped. 

He found a pretty vanilla one, and promised himself that it would be enough. It was a one time thing, it had to be.

It wasn’t.

 

***

 

Yuri didn’t know how it happened. He wasn’t even drunk this time.

Maybe it was the summer-hot Almaty air getting to his brain. Maybe it was the guilt he’d been feeling over reading all those stories, the disgust he felt in himself for delving in other people’s fantasies instead of coming up with his own like any sane person would do.

Maybe it was the way Otabek looked at him like he really had been fantasizing about Yuri all this time, and probably was doing it even at that very moment, before Yuri blurted out, “I’ve been reading more fan fiction.”

They were sprawled under a huge tree in Otabek’s backyard, its shade protecting them from the heat and Yuri’s pale skin from the sun. Otabek lifted himself on one elbow to look down at Yuri, but Yuri couldn’t bring himself to lock eyes with him. He knew what his confession meant literally meant, but he also knew what it implied. Otabek read way too many books not to be someone who would hear Yuri’s words and translate them, correctly, into  _ I like you and fantasize about us _ .

Otabek brought a finger to Yuri’s chin and pushed lightly, not enough to actually turn his head towards him, but enough that Yuri wanted to comply and turned his head himself. Otabek’s expression was unreadable, something that wasn’t exactly new, except Yuri had learned to read it through long exposure and it was now unsettling to be unable to tell whether his friend-turned-crush was angry, bored, or amused. He might have been all of those.

“I see.”

That’s it? Yuri confessed the most embarrassing thing he’s ever done in his life, and that’s all he got out of Otabek?

“Look, I didn’t mean to,” said Yuri nonsensically. Of course he meant to read them, but he was panicking now. He sat up fast, narrowly missing hitting Otabek’s face with his shoulder. He started gesticulating and making things worse. “I just- I was curious about how some things work because it’s not like I can ask my grandpa and maybe it wasn’t my best idea ever, okay it definitely wasn’t, but…”

Gently but firmly, Otabek took hold of his wrists, and that made Yuri shut up. Oh, he had definitely just made things worse.

Otabek said, “Show me your favorite one.”

What? Was this going to be his punishment?

“I’m sorry, Beka, please…”

“Like last time. Show me your favorite one, Yura.” His tone was now gentler, which made Yuri think that he maybe wasn’t as angry as he thought. But still, it was going to be fucking embarrassing. And did he hear right?

“Wh- what do you mean, ‘like last time’? It was just a random one.”

“You’re a terrible liar.” There was now a slight amusement in Otabek’s voice, and Yuri relaxed a little, despite his words.

This was happening, so he might as well just get over with it. He reached for his phone and didn’t even pretend to look for it, or show Otabek a safe-for-work one. If this was going to get between them, he might as well lay it all out with no more lies. And this  _ was  _ Yuri’s absolute favorite.

He flipped his phone to show Otabek the open tab. The fanfiction was called “ _ I dream your madness _ ” by author YurisBae. It was a shame, Yuri thought, that it was their only work, because it was not only hot as fuck and well-characterized, it was also very well written and Yuri would have read anything by them.

Otabek took the phone in his hand, and his expression was once again hard to read. He appeared to be looking at the title -and probably the tags, too- for a while, then he briefly scrolled down, too quick to be really reading it. Then he shook his head slightly, and handed the phone back to Yuri.

“What is it about?”

“Uhm. You’ve read the tags, so-”

“Tell me in your own words.”

Yuri sighed. “It’s set after Welcome to the Madness. Apparently we broke the fucking ao3 when we performed that. Lots and lots and lots of fan fictions are about that, and well…” He was stalling, but he wasn’t going to be able to bullshit his way out of this. He had to look away from Otabek, but he continued. “It’s uh, we… The characters have sex in a locker room right after the exhibition.”

The tree’s shade couldn’t prevent Yuri’s skin to redden, not after this. He let himself fall on the blanket again, lying with his arm covering his eyes, so he didn’t see Otabek’s face when he said, “Read it to me.” He might have been furious or he might have been flirting. Yuri had no fucking idea and was too caught up in his own feelings to try to understand, and he was sure he was wrong when he thought Otabek’s words hid a ‘please’ in their tone.

This was going to be humiliating, but there was no turning back, so he started to read it out loud, just like Otabek had months ago. Except this was going to be more personal and very, very dirty.

He started.

 “ _I always dream about how it could have been. I would have kissed you on the ice. I wouldn’t have cared about everyone watching, but I do care about you, Yuri, and I knew that you wouldn’t have wanted me to pull a Nikiforov. That’s not how you would have wanted to be remembered, and I would never do anything to mess with the reputation you want for yourself. So I did something more daring, because I knew that’s what you wanted. I took your glove off, and while you had no time to dwell on the feeling of your fingertips meeting my tongue before you had to move on with your skating, I did. I had the rest of your exhibition to think about it and feel it in my whole body while I watched yours slide and spin and jump and eventually fall, shot by my fingers that longed to touch every inch of you._ ”

 Yuri needed air. He paused reading and tried to calm his fast beating heart. He looked up from his phone and took in the image of Otabek sitting next to him, looking down at him, and he thought he saw fire in his eyes. He had to say something. “The beginning...it’s like they really know I would be pissed if that had happened.”

Otabek nodded, and Yuri thought that it was easier to bury his eyes on the screen again than to keep looking at those eyes.

The fic, written in form of a monologue to Yuri by Otabek, was richly detailed and until some point it described perfectly from Otabek’s point of view what had happened once Yuri dropped dead on the ice. The way he had waited on it even though his skin was freezing, because he knew it was the only way for Otabek to skate to the center of the ice to help him up and get his fair share of applause. Yuri had always thought it was  _ their  _ performance after all, and even though Otabek kept insisting that it hadn’t been right for him to share the audience’s cheers, Yuri would never be convinced otherwise. 

After that, it described not what had happened, but what the narrator, Otabek himself, would have wanted to happen. Yuri always got a little emotional at this part, because he could feel longing and regret, and it made him ache for this fictional Otabek. 

At some point, the real Otabek had laid on his side next to him, and Yuri could feel his gaze while he kept reading. He thought this was going to be painfully humiliating and highly uncomfortable, but in truth he felt none of those things now. The few glances he managed to steal between one paragraph at the other told him that Otabek looked at him with the usual fondness, if not more. He didn’t want to let this distract him, so he kept reading until he felt Otabek’s hand on his belly, caressing him all the way up to his chest.

He looked at him again, but Otabek was focused on Yuri’s body. “Can I touch you like this?”

Yuri swallowed and said a simple, “Yes.”

Then he continued.

“ _ Once the locker room closed behind us, I would have held you and you would have laughed in my arms. I would have stroked your sweaty hair, and you would have looked up at me with eyeshadow in places of your face where it shouldn’t have been, and you would have seen what kind of awful man I am, that I would have you sweaty and panting in a locker room. But you would have let me run my fingers on you  _ -Otabek’s fingers reached under Yuri’s shirt, and Yuri tensed for a second before he nodded his consent and Otabek kept baring centimeters of his skin under the Almaty sky-  _ and soon you’d have been naked and pinned to a wall while my lips grazed your nipples for the first time.  _ -“Yuri, can I?” This time Otabek asked explicitly, and Yuri said,-  _ “Yes,” you would have hissed, and your head would have hit the wall behind you as you threw it back in ecstasy. And as I slowly got on my knees, you would have looked incredible from that angle, with your hair falling on your beautiful face.  _ -“Beka, god...” “Don’t stop reading, Yura.” “We’re outside.” “We’re alone, you know that.” “I...ahh...please don’t stop now.” “Only if you keep reading.”-  _ And then my mouth would have been full of you, of your taste, like I had envisioned when only your fingers were in it. You would have forgotten to muffle your cry and someone outside the locker room would probably have heard you, and we wouldn’t have cared. It would even have helped you on your quest to end the ‘fairy’ rumors because fairies don’t get messy blowjobs in locker rooms. _ ”

Yuri’s voice faltered. He couldn’t keep reading, he needed to focus on what was happening to his dick. Otabek didn’t urge him to continue this time, and soon Yuri was arching his back and moaning loudly as he shot down Otabek’s throat and he took it all.

He lay there panting while Otabek’s mouth slid away from his cock, leaving it clean. They looked at each other while they waited for Yuri’s heart to slow down, then Yuri started, “Beka, that was-”

“Read until the end, please,” Otabek pleaded him.

Yuri couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe any of it. He’d just been sucked by his friend, like he had fantasized so many times about, and it had been incredible. And now he was supposed to keep reading the fan fiction that started it all? But he couldn’t ignore Otabek’s tone, so he tugged his pants up again, suddenly shy about being naked, and started reading the last paragraph.

 “ _I would have done all that, but I didn’t. I shared your applause with you like you wanted me to, and when we got off the ice I let you embrace me and instead of taking your hand and bring you somewhere more private I let you go to your friends Victor and Katsudon. They gestured me to get closer and take part in the group hug with you, but I-_ ”

 “ _But I walked away to sort out my feelings for you,_ ” recites Otabek. 

“ _ I hope you never read this, Yura. I hope you never find out what kind of man I am, that I have all these vivid dreams about what I’d do to you, when I’m the only one you consider a friend. _

“ _ I hope you read this, Yura. I hope you find out that if I had done all that it would have been out of lust, but because I didn’t, it was out of love. _

“ _ I love you, Yura. _ ”

Understanding dawned on Yuri like a cold shower. “It’s you,” he breathed, and he didn’t give Otabek the chance to reply. He sat up fast and kissed his mouth open and desperate, and Otabek kissed back. It was more intimate than what they’d just done, or maybe it felt to Yuri that way because he finally knew Otabek’s true feelings. “I would have let you,” Yuri said on his lips between one breath and the next. “I would have let you do all that, asshole.”

“Yura…”

“Shut up. I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this!
> 
> If you did, your kudos are more than welcome, but please remember that it's comments that feed an author's soul. 
> 
> (bonus points if you tell me at least two of the other fandoms that were mentioned here, one way or another)
> 
> You can find me as aftgonice both on [tumblr](https://aftgonice.tumblr.com/) and on [twitter ](https://twitter.com/aftgonice).


End file.
